Breaking Up

Just a quick warning out there, this blog might sound depressing. As you can see from the title. What can I say, other than I feel sad and angry at the same time. I'm sad that I had to end it and angry that he changed so much from the first time we met. Certainly this is one of the better relationships I've had. But I seem to be stuck in this loop of falling for these two faced men. These men that act so warm and gentle in the beginning and then become total jerks towards the end. 

And I hate that I am attracted to these kinds of guys....even so...this last guy that I just broke up with.... I just don't get what the reason was for the drastic change. It's not like I suddenly fell in love with him the first time I laid eyes on him. This time it was a natural healthy progression towards those feelings of attraction. It took like 5 to 6 months to actually start having feelings for him. So why after about a month of getting dating each other did he have to change so much? 

He says he's in the middle of self-discovery type journey. Where he's philosophizing about our existence and finding out where humans have come from and where they are going. I'm all for that of course....I even think that it's something that we should all stop and do once in a while. But is that why he has really become so withdrawn? So cold? So selfish? 

Here are combination of theories below: 

He's depressed and he still doesn't know what he wants in life. He has no direction. 

He's immature, he's still 24 so I guess when he finally get's to my age he will stop being such a jerk. 

He got too comfortable with me and thought that he could act any way and say　what he wanted. 

He has never gotten or asked for advice on how to treat women. 

Once he got what he wanted he didn't need to work to keep me anymore. 

Maybe he treats his mom the same way. 

He wasn't able to figure out if he really wanted to stay with me or not. 

He's kind of socially awkward. Unless he's drinking beer and he's which close friends. 

Again I don't know the clear answer, he doesn't seem to know either. I probably never will know. This time around I guess I'm handling things better. It's hard though because I run into him when I eat in the common area....if it becomes a problem I guess I'll just eat in my room for a while....